1. Stephanie Coontz. 1997. “The Future of Marriage.” Pp. 77-95 (Chapter 4) in The Way We Really Are: Coming to Terms With America's Changing Families. New York: Basic Books.
2. Elise Harris. 2000. “Can Marriage Be Saved? An Unsentimental Case for Matrimony.” Lingua Franca, November.
3. Gerstel, Naomi, and Natalia Sarkisian. 2006. “Marriage: The Good, the Bad, and the Greedy.” Contexts, 5, 4, 16-21.
4. Brown, Susan I. 2005. “How Cohabitation Is Reshaping American Families.” Contexts, 4, 3, 33-27.
When sociologists say that marriage is an institution, they are stating that it is a construct used for the purpose of "regulating male-female relations, economic redistribution, and child rearing" (Coontz, 78). An institution, according to dictionary.reference.com, is "a well-established and structured pattern of behavior or of relationships that is accepted as a fundamental part of a culture", meaning marriage is the norm for relational outcomes in our society today. It has been expected that people get married to solidify their relationship, and often decisions made by men and women are made to ultimately lead to marriage.
According to Coontz, the "deinstitutionalization" of marriage is evident by the fact that marriage is becoming less and less necessary to define relationships, to develop economic stability, or to have children. There is a longer life span among men and women today, so marriage, if entered into at all, is often delayed; and women are putting more emphasis on their careers and independence than their relationships. Because of the advancement of women in the workplace, they have more of an choice in divorce; thus it is not necessary for them to stay in a marriage if it is not the epitome of happiness.
There has also been an increase in child-rearing out of wedlock, whether by choice or by accident. Whereas marriage used to be necessary to have children, many people are now having children and remaining single, because the option is more viable than in the past. Also, the option of having children within an unmarried relationship is more readily available, for example in same-sex relationships, and in vitro fertilization.
Though many critics today are vying for the reinstitutionalization of marriage, Coontz states that this might be difficult; today's culture has progressed so from the typical 1950's idea of marriage and the breadwinner/homemaker image, it would be impossible to reinstate those roles of men and women in marriage. Alternative forms of relationship have become more commonplace, making marriage less of a necessity, and the fact that people will have children whether or not they are married makes that argument difficult as well. Overall, Coontz is saying that relationships and norms have evolved beyond the institution of marriage, and perhaps a new definition of what a healthy, happy family should be is necessary, rather than backtracking to how it used to be.
According to Harris, Gerstal, and Sarkisian, there are a variety of benefits and disadvantages of marriage for both men and women. In terms of mental health and happiness, marriage provides more security and a higher level of satisfaction for men and women than simply living with your partner, or living alone. Harris quotes Waite in claiming that married men are likely to live longer, and both men and women are less prone to suicide, anxiety, depression, and binge drinking. Married couples have also been shown to be more economically stable than single people, and thus women have more flexibility in their choice of work. According to Gerstel and Sarkisian, marriage also helps to increase men's participation in church, and sometimes politics.
In terms of disadvantages, Gerstel and Sarkisian point out several ways in which marriage is inhibiting. It has been stated by feminist thinkers that marriage is oppressive to women, it increases the amount of housework for them, and increases the amount of domestic violence between spouses. On a different note, marriage tends to draw the couple away from other relationships that could potentially be beneficial to their well-being; married couples are less involved with their relatives, friends, and neighbors because they are more focused on their own relationship.
According to Brown, people often cohabit because they feel as though it will give them a good "feel" for how married life will be, and if they will be able to build a life with their partner. While in theory this may seem like a good idea, it has been shown that those in cohabiting relationships are more likely to break up, because there is less of a responsibility to make it work. There is no binding agreement such as marriage vows, thus they are more able to leave anytime there is a rocky patch in the relationship.
When the couple moves in together with the intention of getting married, cohabitation is a beneficial process in building the relationship.
Selection effects, according to Gerstel and Sarkisian, contrast the research that marriage proves to make men and women healthier, happier, and more successful. Instead, it is those that already have these good qualities that decide to enter into marriage, because they are satisfied with how their lives currently are, and want to move to the next level. Those that are not healthy, or are depressed, or economically unstable are less likely "settle down", because it may be disadvantageous to their development.
Overall, these four articles discuss an array of topics concerning marriage, proving that although marriage as an institution may be moving out of the spotlight as the norm in our society, it continues to be a construct that makes waves in all social circles.
Monday, February 19, 2007
Monday, February 12, 2007
Teen/College Dating
Risman, Barbara, and Pepper Schwartz. 2002. "After the Sexual Revolution: Gender Politics in Teen Dating." Contexts, 1, Spring, pp. 16-24.
England, Paula, and Rubin Thomas. 2007. "The Decline of the Date and the Rise of the College Hookup." Pp. 151-162 in Arlene S. Skolnick& Jerome H. Skolnick (Eds.), Family in Transition (14th Ed.). New York: Allyn & Bacon.
Although many researchers today are claiming that sexual activity among teens is decreasing, Risman and Schwartz claim that sexual activity itself is not decreasing among this age group, it is simply changing. Teens are still having sex at relatively the same age as in past decades, but it is occurring more within relationships as opposed to one-night stands with people they don't really know. In the past the age of first sexual relations was significantly higher for boys than for girls, suggesting that there was a groups of "loner" fast girls who would be with multiple partners in a short time. Over time the ages of the two groups has leveled, suggesting that boys are now waiting also for a relationship to have sex.
Another reason for suggested decreased sexual activity is the fact that the number of recorded abortions, STD's, and other sexually related diseases has gone down in the past few decades. But since we have seen that sexual activity has indeed stayed the same, it seems as if teens are just acting smarter about their decisions, and practicing safe sex. This could be a result of increased knowledge about the consequences of unprotected sex, or the fact that girls now have more of a say in the matter of sexual relations.
Among college students however, something completely different was discussed by England and Thomas. As opposed to first being in a relationship and then participating in sexual relations, due to a phenomenon called the "hook up", there has been almost a complete disappearance in the "date" and an increase in pre-relational sexual activity that may lead to a relationship over time. The typical path to a relationship as discussed by a student in the article is first there is a crush involved, then some shared activity such as a party or event, usually some alcohol, and then leaving together to "hook up". This does not necessarily mean sex, but typically more than kissing is involved. This can occur for an unspecified amount of time, and through hooking up two people may develop romantic feelings towards one another and begin to date.
In terms of gender, the stigma of sex has somewhat disappeared, as long as there is commitment and love involved. However, there is still somewhat of a double standard concerning how one conducts themselves in between sexual relations. Although girls and women are seen as legitimate taking part in sexual relations with a boyfriend/mate, they still receive the label of "slut" easier than men do when switching between partners too fast. Even if she is in a relationship, and moves to another one, if the move is too fast she could be labeled as easy. This stigma is just not there for men, they are often congratulated for an increased number of sexual relations.
My own experiences in high school experiences do not correspond to Risman and Schwartz's observations/findings, because I was in a circle of friends where if sexual activity occurred, it was not talked about. I do feel as though since graduating, and seeing my friends younger siblings go through my old high school, things have changed; because of the increased amount of sex in the media, it has become more of a part of life than something not to be talked about. My friend's little sister knew more when she was in 8th grade than I did when I was graduating High School. And that could say something about my religious upbringing, but I think it also attests to the increase of sexual discussion/participation in every day life.
Since having come to college I have noticed the almost disappearance of the date; I have been on several during my time here, but most of them were with guys that I already knew. Only a few were with people whom I met on a whim or had seen around that asked me to go out. I feel this is a shame, because the fun part of starting a new relationship is the getting ready, and going out and having to get to know someone through talking and spending time together. I feel that with the increase of hookup, and the scapegoat of alcohol, people are just maneuvering around the awkward jitters of getting to know someone, and moving straight to the physical part. Then if the physical aspect continues to work for a while, the dates will ensue.
I also think a reason for the increase in hooking up is because college has become such a state of limbo - there are really no rules, and so people feel they can get away with getting drunk and hooking up with someone, with no consequences. I hope that once we get out of college this will cease.
England, Paula, and Rubin Thomas. 2007. "The Decline of the Date and the Rise of the College Hookup." Pp. 151-162 in Arlene S. Skolnick& Jerome H. Skolnick (Eds.), Family in Transition (14th Ed.). New York: Allyn & Bacon.
Although many researchers today are claiming that sexual activity among teens is decreasing, Risman and Schwartz claim that sexual activity itself is not decreasing among this age group, it is simply changing. Teens are still having sex at relatively the same age as in past decades, but it is occurring more within relationships as opposed to one-night stands with people they don't really know. In the past the age of first sexual relations was significantly higher for boys than for girls, suggesting that there was a groups of "loner" fast girls who would be with multiple partners in a short time. Over time the ages of the two groups has leveled, suggesting that boys are now waiting also for a relationship to have sex.
Another reason for suggested decreased sexual activity is the fact that the number of recorded abortions, STD's, and other sexually related diseases has gone down in the past few decades. But since we have seen that sexual activity has indeed stayed the same, it seems as if teens are just acting smarter about their decisions, and practicing safe sex. This could be a result of increased knowledge about the consequences of unprotected sex, or the fact that girls now have more of a say in the matter of sexual relations.
Among college students however, something completely different was discussed by England and Thomas. As opposed to first being in a relationship and then participating in sexual relations, due to a phenomenon called the "hook up", there has been almost a complete disappearance in the "date" and an increase in pre-relational sexual activity that may lead to a relationship over time. The typical path to a relationship as discussed by a student in the article is first there is a crush involved, then some shared activity such as a party or event, usually some alcohol, and then leaving together to "hook up". This does not necessarily mean sex, but typically more than kissing is involved. This can occur for an unspecified amount of time, and through hooking up two people may develop romantic feelings towards one another and begin to date.
In terms of gender, the stigma of sex has somewhat disappeared, as long as there is commitment and love involved. However, there is still somewhat of a double standard concerning how one conducts themselves in between sexual relations. Although girls and women are seen as legitimate taking part in sexual relations with a boyfriend/mate, they still receive the label of "slut" easier than men do when switching between partners too fast. Even if she is in a relationship, and moves to another one, if the move is too fast she could be labeled as easy. This stigma is just not there for men, they are often congratulated for an increased number of sexual relations.
My own experiences in high school experiences do not correspond to Risman and Schwartz's observations/findings, because I was in a circle of friends where if sexual activity occurred, it was not talked about. I do feel as though since graduating, and seeing my friends younger siblings go through my old high school, things have changed; because of the increased amount of sex in the media, it has become more of a part of life than something not to be talked about. My friend's little sister knew more when she was in 8th grade than I did when I was graduating High School. And that could say something about my religious upbringing, but I think it also attests to the increase of sexual discussion/participation in every day life.
Since having come to college I have noticed the almost disappearance of the date; I have been on several during my time here, but most of them were with guys that I already knew. Only a few were with people whom I met on a whim or had seen around that asked me to go out. I feel this is a shame, because the fun part of starting a new relationship is the getting ready, and going out and having to get to know someone through talking and spending time together. I feel that with the increase of hookup, and the scapegoat of alcohol, people are just maneuvering around the awkward jitters of getting to know someone, and moving straight to the physical part. Then if the physical aspect continues to work for a while, the dates will ensue.
I also think a reason for the increase in hooking up is because college has become such a state of limbo - there are really no rules, and so people feel they can get away with getting drunk and hooking up with someone, with no consequences. I hope that once we get out of college this will cease.
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